They say a little knowledge is dangerous – but a bit more can be hilarious!

I think we can honestly say now that our Spanish has moved from beginner to intermediate! We can actually hold something close to a conversation with people now without most of it being acted out like we’re from RADA! We do have half the village acting out words that we don’t know too though – if you drive past the cafe on a Wednesday when we’re there it must look like we’re all crazy!

However, as Spanish is the second fastest spoken language in the world after Japanese, there can be hilarious misunderstandings. So I thought I would share a few of the better ones! Because it’s so fast, you find yourself trying to reply at the same speed, and this is where it can all go so very wrong!

Like the day that Roger told Olga in the town hall I was outside on fire (I was actually having a cigarette outside). Fuego / fumar – easy to mix up!

At the cafe, Jose told us he was having ‘gato y patatas fritas’ (well, that’s what we heard anyway) – which translates to ‘cat and chips‘! As you can imagine, we both said (in Spanish) ‘oh my god you’re eating cat???’ He nearly wet himself laughing.

We had loads of eggs one day, and so when Paco and his Grandad came to work on their finca at the back of us, Rog said he would take them some eggs. He meant to say ‘I’ve got a present for you’ as he handed them the eggs, but what he actually said was ‘I have some watches for you’. We’re getting so used to seeing bemused smiles when we speak! Regalo / reloj – Well, they both start with ‘R’!

Sometimes you get asked a question, and you’re really confident that you’ve heard it right and so you answer – then you realise by the look on their faces that you’ve just done this:

Q: What did you used to do in the UK?

A: Peterborough, near Cambridge

It’s also so easy to get things like first and last, up and down, before and after etc the wrong way round. Rog told Paco back in March that he was so relieved I got the first flight out of the UK to Almeria instead of the last one before the lockdown!

I think one of the reasons why people have been so good to us here is that they can see us trying so hard. Every week we get a little better. There seems to be a tipping point now that we’ve achieved – we have got most of the foundation stuff and now need to expand our vocabulary. The different verb tenses still give us both a problem but we seem to be understood if we use the present tense but add on last week or last year. I think there may be a rainy day coming where I simply write some verb tables onto paper and stick them on the wall to practice!

Of course, just like you get regional accents in the UK, the same applies here in Spain. Andalucia has very lazy pronunciation – lots of letters missed off at the start and end of words. Hasta luego (see you later) becomes ‘A luego’ or just ‘luego’. This is really tough when you’re learning the full generic pronunciation of words. And then we take it a stage further – here in Illar it is ‘campo spanish’. The equivalent in England would be farmers saying ‘ooo-arrr’ for yes in English. It’s no wonder our brains hurt some days!

The only way to learn really is to immerse yourself in it, throw caution to the wind and not worry if you sometimes look and sound like a real eejit! We haven’t done bad in 18 months – the locals at the cafe said another two years and you wouldn’t know we’re English … we’ll see!

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