If you have a dream, do it. Make it happen. Never regret things that have happened in the past – you can’t change the past, but you can change now. I’ve talked before about the importance of living in the present and living your dreams, but the events of this year have brought this home to me so clearly.
In March, I woke up one Saturday morning to an email from my sister, which read ‘now don’t panic, but I’m in hospital and I’ve got a brain tumour’. A week later, I arrived in the UK and sat waiting with my son and my parents while Tracy was at the hospital getting her full diagnosis. It was the worst possible news – the most aggressive tumour you can get, and there was no cure. The tumour had gone into her frontal lobe, so they wouldn’t be able to remove it all. They did operate two days later to remove what they could to give her some time – without that operation she would’ve had less than a month.
‘No shiny eyes’ is all she kept saying to us all.
Just days after her op, Spain went into lockdown and I had to fly back or be stuck in the UK – she told me to get home while I could. It has been difficult being in Spain while my family have been going through this back in the UK. I did what I could to help from here, and thanks to modern technology, was able to video call Tracy regularly. Covid has made the whole thing even harder for all the family.
She went through radiotherapy and round after round of chemo. I went back in October, knowing it would be the last time I would see her – she had decided not to have any more chemo at the end of September. Heartbreakingly, just 4 days before I arrived back she was taken very ill and went into hospital, and no visitors were allowed because of covid. From the hospital she was moved into a nursing home and was there for her final few weeks, and this week she passed away, aged just 55.
None of us know when it will be our time. Don’t end up lying on your deathbed thinking ‘I wish I’d …’ . This is the sort of thing that you don’t ever think will happen to you or your family – it’s something that tragically happens to other people – well, I know now that’s not true.
Don’t waste a single day …