Living on the edge of society

Although our finca is only 1km from the village, most days it might as well be 100km away! And we like that, it’s what we wanted. When we first viewed here we were a little worried that it was too close to civilization, but everything else we had looked at was too remote (I know, there’s no pleasing some people 😂).

So I thought I would investigate why we felt so compelled to leave society behind three years ago, and whether we have really achieved that.

I think one of the main problems we had with life in the UK was the fact that there is an expectation that you should live to work, rather than work to live. The people that were still sending emails at 2am were the ones to get promoted – ooh look how hard they work. I have been in this situation, and oftentimes felt so tired that I literally cried. This is not living.

Then there’s the need for more and more useless stuff. I too was caught in this trap, and the day I spent £995 on a handbag I suddenly thought ‘what on earth am I doing???’. Work harder so you can earn more money, and then spend it on useless crap that maybe makes you happy at best for a fleeting moment. Now I have no issues with working hard to earn my money, the difference now is that we buy things we need, with just the odd exception! I don’t think we’d be human if we weren’t occasionally drawn to something glittery. But it is just occasionally now, rather than the weekly or monthly norm. I wish I’d saved more, rather than spending it on unnecessary things – it would’ve made the escape a little easier.

The third reason is just how unkind and judgemental society seems to have become. There’s a real streak of selfishness running through many cultures, and quite frankly, it makes me sad. We came off Facebook a few years ago, although we have recently rejoined. The difference now is that we’re very careful who we add as friends. Mostly it’s family and a few friends, as this is a good way to stay in touch with the ones we like! It also means we can keep up with things that are happening in the village, and although we don’t always go and join in, we do occasionally go and show our faces to be part of the community. One thing though, we make sure we don’t get drawn into any politics or arguments in the village. We smile and walk away …

We went and joined in with tree planting in the new park in the village. This is the expat tree and between us we represented Ireland, England and Scotland!

For Rog, he said his main reason was how het up people get over things that just really don’t matter – the fact that people rarely look at the bigger picture or overreacting to minor issues. Now we’re far from perfect, and we do still get wound up over stupid things, but I like to think that we realise it quicker now when we’re doing it and stop ourselves (or stop each other).

The last reason of course, is the environment. We wanted to live a life with a gentler touch on the planet. This, we have achieved, and it makes me happy that we are contributing less now to the environmental catastrophe that’s happening to Earth.

So looking back at those reasons, there wasn’t an awful lot left that we did like!

The hardest thing about doing what we did was leaving the family. We do miss them, but that’s where modern technology does improve life, being able to video call regularly. And these days we do actually have the time to talk properly to them, without clock watching, or having to dash off somewhere.

So now, the big question – have we achieved our dream of dropping out? Well, no, not totally. I think, as the title of this blog suggests, we have achieved living on the edge of society – we’re on the hard shoulder of life, but haven’t quite made it into the field on the other side of the hill away from the motorway 😂. But that’s fine with us.

I don’t think we expected to form some good friendships, but we have – and it’s nice having a handful of people that you can call up and go ‘help!’ – and help them in return when needed, or to just drop in for a coffee. I think the best thing is that our few good friends know we’re oddballs who moved here to get away from people, and so there’s no pressure on us to meet up regularly, or join the whist club or pétanque team (one person did suggest that we join them on a Sunday afternoon for a game but I think the horrified look on our faces was enough of an answer!). When we do occasionally meet up for lunch, we enjoy it, simply because it’s not every week.

Even here though we do sometimes meet people we’d rather not have anything to do with, but living where we do makes it easier to avoid them! We try not to venture away from the finca too often, usually a couple of times a week just for a few hours, as when we’re here we’re generally undisturbed. Whilst it’s nice to go out occasionally, I always feel happy to get back here again. It’s definitely become our sanctuary away from the world.

Best of all, we enjoy more freedom than we’ve ever experienced before – real freedom. No one telling us those trees have to be pruned today, or that we have to work late to get things done. They do say that people are their own worst bosses, and I agree with that – at the start of this journey we had a grueling amount of work to do to get this place in shape, and we did put ourselves under pressure. We’re learning to slow down now though! We have time to sit and talk, and sometimes to just sit and enjoy the scenery, watching the swifts dive around at sunset, or just hearing the golden oriels in the morning as the sun rises. Summer afternoons are for reading or sleeping in the cool. This is living to us. The longer we’re here, the more certain I am of the decision we made, and the more sure I am that we could never go back to our old lives.

As for the other aspects of being part of society – paying your bills, making sure you’ve filled in all the forms for everything, going food shopping etc etc, well there’s no escaping those things is there! But these are things we can live with!

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